Tag Archives: emotion

Trying something different (part two)

So I tried the painting again! Started with a sketch:

blue lead pencil sketch

I’m really proud of this sketch, actually. I don’t usually sketch realistic objects or scenes, and I wasn’t sure I would be able to do a good enough job. But I did! Hooray for me!

Once the sketch was done, I decided to work on the background first, instead of last (like last time). And I used Derwent Inktense watercolor pans so that each layer would stay fixed, and hopefully not get muddy looking. Once I got the background in, I worked on the leaves. I switched to Dr. Ph. Martin’s Bombay inks, and did multiple layers of greens.

After adding some frisket to protect certain parts of the flower, I started working on the reds in the blossom. I never realized how complex the red in a pomegranate are!

Finally the finish line was in sight! I’d started working on deepening the colors in the pod part of the flower when disaster struck! I knocked over a bottle of ink and it spread all over my desk…even worse, it splashed onto my painting:

jamming on the flower petals and all the many different shades of red, working on the pod, when OH NOoOoooOo

I am not ashamed to say that there was wailing involved. It was so shocking and distressing I could barely think of how to react to save it and the other art in the notebook. Luckily this painting was the only one that had any substantial damage, but even so, it took about three days for me to be able to work on it again and finish up some last details:

after three days of sadness and anxiety, I managed to go back and finish it up. final details on the (actual) branch, removed the frisket, dropped in the yellow pollen and pistil ends, and finished deepening the flower colors.

All things considered, I think I did a pretty good job. I’m thankful that the spill happened in such a way that it only barely touched the flower itself, and so it sort of looks like a weird branch.

What do you think? Have you had art disasters happen to you, and were you able to recover, or work the mistake into the image so that it didn’t stick out so much?

Sunsets in my Mind

There’s something about the colors the sun paints across the sky at sunset. Giant watercolor masterpieces, painted with light and air movement. It’s so stereotypical, right, for an artist to find inspiration in the event that defines the day?

But look:

Sunset light on the Organ Mountains, Las Cruces NM. September 2019
Continue reading Sunsets in my Mind

Emotionally cloudy

I’ve been struggling with my art during this pandemic. When I’m scared, my ability to access my intentional creativity diminishes, and drawing specific things gets a lot harder. In times like this, when I’m so overwhelmed, just playing with color on the page is sometimes all I can manage.

I visited my friend Susan a few weeks ago, and as we were talking about what was happening in our lives and the world, she let me play with her new watercolor palette. I felt a lot of different emotions swirling around us…it was pleasant to sit with her and just let my unconscious take control of my brushes.

Continue reading Emotionally cloudy

What to draw during a pandemic

I worry too much, all the time, about all sorts of things. Whether they matter or not, are likely or not, regardless of the actual danger involved.

I did not think to worry about a pandemic, and now I find myself unprepared! What do I draw or paint when I don’t know how to begin to think about what’s going on? How do I visualize this virus that’s raging across the planet, on every continent but Antarctica? That we know so little about, and yet are becoming so intimate with?

Sometimes I can draw the thing that’s scaring me. I kept looking at the virus picture the CDC put out, the one with a gray body and red triangular spores haloing it. But I couldn’t get anywhere with that reference. It felt too real, too scary to caricature. So I went in a different direction and thought about the growth aspect of the virus, how it spreads so fast. Like a molecular pinball machine that sprouts with every bounce.

March 16th, The Coronavirus Pandemic (journal entry). I couldn’t find a way to draw the virus that looked anything like the version from the CDC that they show in the news. But I finally settled on rings and lines and vines.
Continue reading What to draw during a pandemic

Demon Hunting

Like a lot of people, I struggle with anxiety and a host of other brainular issues. I have a few diagnoses that I could rattle off, but right now I don’t feel like the particulars matter. What is important in this moment is my conception of them, and how I use art to deal with their sometimes unwelcome presence in my life.

I call them demons. I’m not a particularly spiritual and not at all religious person, so I don’t mean demons in any literal “fallen angel” or “personification of evil” sense. It’s more that they have recurring roles and specific emotions associated with them. For example, for me, Anxiety is a demon that walks around with me every day, whether I’m consciously aware of it or not. Fear is another. It helps me to name them, to conceptualize them as having a physical form, and behaviors that I can learn to recognize and then counteract.

“I cannot see which demon it is until I open my eyes.” Nov 2018 journal entry (markers, pen, Derwent Inktense on multimedia)
Continue reading Demon Hunting

Been scribblin’ in some journals

…and now I’m ready to open them up to the world!

Okay, I’m not actually ready. I’m more than half-convinced that this is an exercise in egotistic delusion, but whatever. If no one ever visits this blog and reads this, then it’s substantively no different than just scribbling away in my paper journals, and thus I haven’t embarrassed myself because no one is looking anyway, right? (If a tree does something embarrassing in the forest, does it matter?)

Continue reading Been scribblin’ in some journals