Emotionally cloudy

I’ve been struggling with my art during this pandemic. When I’m scared, my ability to access my intentional creativity diminishes, and drawing specific things gets a lot harder. In times like this, when I’m so overwhelmed, just playing with color on the page is sometimes all I can manage.

I visited my friend Susan a few weeks ago, and as we were talking about what was happening in our lives and the world, she let me play with her new watercolor palette. I felt a lot of different emotions swirling around us…it was pleasant to sit with her and just let my unconscious take control of my brushes.

Feeling overwhelmed by everything happening outside of me, and not even sure what I feel inside of me. Life and growth and change are inevitable, but not really all that easy to experience.

I picture emotional clouds as being like the galaxy clouds that the Hubble Space Telescope show us. When I look at them, I see movement, expansion, density and dispersion. If I unfocus my eyes a bit, it’s easy to imagine floating through it.

I sometimes don’t even realize what emotion I’m feeling until I start painting it: hope feeling intense, but vague. Funny how it can be excruciating and unfocused at the same time.

Is there a reason why we identify some colors with some emotions, or is that an individual or cultural thing?

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