I worry too much, all the time, about all sorts of things. Whether they matter or not, are likely or not, regardless of the actual danger involved.
I did not think to worry about a pandemic, and now I find myself unprepared! What do I draw or paint when I don’t know how to begin to think about what’s going on? How do I visualize this virus that’s raging across the planet, on every continent but Antarctica? That we know so little about, and yet are becoming so intimate with?
Sometimes I can draw the thing that’s scaring me. I kept looking at the virus picture the CDC put out, the one with a gray body and red triangular spores haloing it. But I couldn’t get anywhere with that reference. It felt too real, too scary to caricature. So I went in a different direction and thought about the growth aspect of the virus, how it spreads so fast. Like a molecular pinball machine that sprouts with every bounce.
But my anxiety kept spiking, and I couldn’t keep working on that page. I needed to feel hope and wonder again, some good emotions to be the mental floaties that keep my head above water. Result: strange venomous manticore-tailed flamingo that wants to pet a kitty. Because who doesn’t want to pet a kitty right now? Kitties are much more smoothing to think about!
Done for now. Colored pencils are my favorite for finishing details.
Do you draw or paint when you’re afraid? What sorts of subjects or styles help you deal with overwhelming feelings?
